Hello, My name is Adrian

Last night I had a particularly awkward experience. My mom convinced me to go with her to the viewing of her Uncle Jess. I met my mom, Grandma, and Aunt Geri at the funeral home on South Temple, which I swear is haunted. While the ladies were taking a quick potty break before viewing the corpse, I took myself on a little tour of the facility. Sure enough, it was about 100 years old, which means it HAS to be haunted. I found a secret dark staircase that went to... I don't know where. The light on my cell phone was not bright enough to light all the way to the bottom of the stairs. A chill ran up me spine, so I turned around.

Well, that's not the awkward part. When we entered the viewing area there weren't more than 20 people, counting the dead body. My mom introduced me to some of her cousins. I have never seen these people in my life, but I pretended to be interested in knowing who each one was. Then one of the cousins came up and my mom introduced me. "This is my son Jon. Jon, this is so-and-so." (I've already forgotten the names.) She said, "Nice to meet you, Adrian." I was like, "What?" She was like, "Your name is Adrian?" I was like, "No, Jon. But close."

Anyway, after a few more similarly awkward experiences I decided it was time to leave. Afterall, you can only sit and stare at a dead body in a casket for so long before it gets kinda creepy. My mom walked me out to my car and while we were outside chatting her cousin pulled up and climbed out of her Expedition wearing a bright blue linen dress and white socks and white sandals. Pretty classy. I had to giggle. This cousin's name was Benet (like Jean Benet). She has a sister named Monet. I think their parents like French-sounding names.

So the moral of the story is that family can be the cause of some of the most awkward experiences in life. I hope when we get to heaven and meet all our dearly-departed that it isn't as awkward as my experience at the funeral home was. I'll just need to make sure my heavenly name tag clearly says "JON" so no one confuses me for Adrian again.