Friday, August 15, 2008

My Walk Home

Today’s top stories: The United States wins some more gold medals in China, a quadriplegic girl starves to death on the streets of Salt Lake after her wheelchair runs out of power, and a woman is murdered by an intruder as she enters her home last night. All this and more today on Jon’s Glob.

So last night I had the most interesting time I’ve had in a very long time. It all started when I decided to walk to the Salt Lake City Public Library to return a book I’d borrowed and to pick up a book on CD that I had on reserve. That wasn’t the exciting part. The excitement began on my way home.

As I exited the library I heard some loud music coming from across the street at the County Building. There was some type of festivity with music, dancing, and vendor booths. I decided to get a closer look. Why not? I had nothing better to do. So I walked across the street and found that it was a celebration of “Hispanic Days.” I walked around the building grounds and observed people in native tribal costumes dancing around. There was a stage set up with lights and all the works. A girl was busy singing a song, the likes of which I’d never heard before. I couldn’t understand a word of what she was saying, probably because she was singing in Spanish. A man walked by with glow-in-the-dark swords that he was selling for ten pesos apiece. Well, I don’t know really. I didn’t understand what he said as he approached me with his swords, but I assumed he was trying to make a buck off me. Suddenly it was as if I had the gift of tongues. I could understand every word of what the performer on stage was singing. Then I realized that she was singing in English to a karaoke of Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.” She did an awful job mimicking the pop idol and for a moment I felt a deep desire to play Simon Cowell and tell her that she was pitchy and had fake vibrato and poor diction. But I suppressed my desire and decided it was time for me to go home. I left the grounds just as the Hispanic Days Royalty took the stage to strut their stuff and say some words in Spanish I didn’t understand.

The real excitement took place on my walk back home. I decided to take a new route home, just for kicks. On a dark and empty street, I heard a raspy woman’s voice shout: “Hey, could you do something for me?” There was a woman of about 50 standing on the side walk with her big black dog. I said, “What’s up?” She said, “I live right here and I think I just saw someone in my house. The curtain in the window just moved.” I looked at the window and saw the house was black inside. There was an air conditioning unit in the window and I said, “Are you sure it wasn’t the air conditioner moving the curtain?” She said, “Oh no. I saw someone.” I said, “Well, I don’t feel comfortable going in there.” She said, “Well maybe if you just walk around the back there and look inside.” Again I said I didn’t want to do it, but suggested we call the police.” She said, “Oh no. See, I have cancer and I smoke marijuana. There might be some out on the counter.” This sealed the deal that there was no way I was going in there to play the hero. I could be getting myself caught right in the middle of some drug deal gone bad or a robbery or something. So I said, “No I don’t feel comfortable going in there. I’m sorry. Maybe your dog will scare them away.” I started walking again. I guess she had resigned herself to the fact that she was going to die no matter what happened that night, so she headed through the back gate to enter from the back door. I crossed the street and waited there for a while to listen for any screams come from the house. I didn’t hear anything, and never saw the lights come on inside. Perhaps her intruder slit her throat before she could scream as she came through the door. Or perhaps there was no intruder and she just wanted me to come smoke some pot with her. Either way, she was a crazy old lady.

As I continued down the street I saw something that made me think, “Where are all these crazies coming from?” I heard some crunching noises in the shadows. I look deep into the darkness and saw a person in a motorized wheelchair driving in circles on a little driveway close to the sidewalk. I thought at first her wheelchair was out of control and she was panicking. There were CD’s all over the driveway and she was running right over them, crunching the plastic cases with every turn. There was a bag on the ground as well as a sweat shirt. I wasn’t sure if it was her stuff that she had dropped. She started making incomprehensive grunting noises which I thought were a cry for help or assistance. But she just kept running over her CD’s. I was nervous. So I kept walking. Suddenly she started driving behind me. I slowed my pace in case she was trying to get me to help her. She zipped right on by and drove toward the intersection. I thought for sure she was going to drive right out into the road and get hit. But she screeched to a halt at the last minute. I watched her from across the street as she disappeared into the distance. I went back to see what the CD’s were all about. They were a set of about 10 entitled “Music to Live By.” On the ground near the CD’s was a piece of wood with the words “Not in this body” written with permanent marker. I couldn’t figure out what was going on so I gathered the CD’s and put them in a nice pile on top of the piece of wood and placed them off to the side of the driveway in case she came back looking for them. I continued my walk home. I crossed a few streets. Then I saw on the other side of the road the woman in the wheelchair. She was stopped dead in her tracks on the sidewalk. I’m not sure if her jazzy had run out of juice or if she was taking a rest. Perhaps her battery died and she stayed there all night. Or perhaps she was waiting for a friend on the corner. Either way, I didn’t know how to handle the situation. Do I call the police? No, she wasn’t committing a crime. Do I call the hospital? No, she wasn’t sick. I didn’t know whom to call, so I just kept walking.

As I finally reached my house I thought, “I’m so glad that this all happened tonight. Now I’ll finally have something to write on my glob.” I watched the news this morning to see if either of these stories had made headlines. They hadn’t. I guess the woman in the wheelchair made it home safely. I guess the woman with the pot lived through the night. But it sure was an exciting walk through the streets of down town Salt Lake.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

High School Musical



On Monday we had auditions for High School Musical. Cache Regional Theatre Company is going to be putting it on in September and I'm going to be the music director. I'm way excited. The people we selected for the cast are all amazingly talented. That'll make my work a lot easier. I hope everyone will come see the show!! It's totally cheesey and trendy.... but it's going to make lots of money at the box office I believe. Tell all your Junior High friends about it!!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Cats beware


I must confess. I have strong feelings against cats. I never have liked cats. They are such conniving, sneaky, evil animals. I always feel that a cat has only one thing on its mind when it approaches me: "Claw his eyes out." You know, they say that dogs can sense fear. I wish that cats could sense hatred in the same way and stay away from me. If there are any cats out there reading my glob, please be aware that if you walk in front of my car I will run over you.

Life changing things

Some things have the ability to change our lives forever. It could be a good book, a song, a spiritual experience, a roasted Starburst, or a best friend. For me, it was this video. It has changed my life for good.

Blog is a dirty word


I've always hated the word "blog." Ever since the first day I heard it in my "Reporting for Online Journalism" class I thought it sounded like a dirty word. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I live my life with my head in the gutter or something. But I always just thought it was a word similar to "glob" (most things that come in a "glob" are disgusting) or "booger." Am I weird?

So, I've decided to join the trendy world of "blogging" (*Jon dry-heaves a little at the mention of the word*) and start my own. But just for your information, this is not a blog. It's a glob. I figure if we're going to use dirty words here, I get to choose the word. And it's glob.